In a society where people are photoshopped and airbrushed into oblivion, it’s nearly impossible to feel secure in oneself! Positive mindset tips? I used to gag whenever I saw those kinds of articles floating around the Internet. It certainly didn’t help that the people giving these types of advice had the perfect Instagram lives and were naturally beautiful with a family and a house.
Well, listen up everyone! You’ll be receiving real advice on self-love and NONE of that toxic positivity bullsh*t, as told by me, a person who used to hate herself! So much, you don’t even know. But hey, that’s how you know that I’ve been there and that I understand, at least a little bit, of what you’re going through. Here are three useful positive mindset tips I’ve implemented to improve my self-esteem on a personal and professional level.
*Disclaimer* I am not a therapist or licensed mental health professional. If you find yourself struggling, please do talk to a professional. There’s absolutely no shame in it. People with and without mental disorders can benefit from therapy.
That’s right. Look at yourself in a mirror. Stare hard. Does it feel uncomfortable? Instead of the nitpicking we usually like to do, act like you’re a model on a runway. Do a couple of poses. Do that over-the-shoulder smolder. Compliment yourself! Pick one of your features to admire. It can literally be something as small as the placement of a freckle.
Is this kind of silly? Sure it is. But hey, there’s nothing sillier than hating your beautiful self. By making friends with your reflection in the mirror, you are committing to loving yourself. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, you are your own beholder. I’ve been doing this mirror thing for a couple of years now, and it really helped me learn to value myself. You never realize how heavy self-hatred is until it’s starts going away little by little.
We all need to realize that what we see on social media isn’t real like 99.99% of the time. We’re seeing all of the highs and none of the lows. Or think about it like this: social media is essentially branding. It’s carefully curated to make a specific impression or position regardless of the truth.
Rather than seeing these affirmations as positive mindset tips, start thinking about them as growth mindset advice. A growth mindset focuses on progress and remembers gratitude for the work that has been accomplished. A growth mindset isn’t afraid of self-compassion but still believes itself to be capable of greatness. Having a fixed mindset, or believing that your abilities are set in stone, creates a vicious cycle of insecurity (1). The word failure scares the sh*t out of you and you stop challenging yourself because of that.
In the workplace, in all aspects of your life, you are a major decision-maker in your own destiny. Of course, there are a lot of outside circumstances to be considered, but we let our fear of change and failure consume us. We’re afraid to start.
Let me give an example of maybe someone who is thinking of starting their own business. They find themselves worried about job security, finances, and failure. Valid concerns. But I find that the difference between those who succeed and those who fall through is action. It really has nothing to do with innate abilities, and this is something I’ve learned the hard way. Let me ask you: do you have the courage to take action and start today? Are you willing to put in hours to your passion project alongside your traditional job? Is failure an end-all-be-all or is it a lesson to be learned?
While I acknowledge that always “keeping a positive attitude” is a rather toxic way of encouraging others, there is merit in believing in yourself. If you always tell yourself you aren’t good enough and that you will fail, then you eventually will. Maybe you don’t fail in the task at hand, but you definitely don’t pass the mental well-being vibe check.
I think it’s rather easy to seek outside validation for our obstacles. And there’s nothing wrong with having a strong support system. But if we always depend on other people to lift ourselves up while we are putting ourselves down, this is a recipe for self-sabotage. I can give you millions of positive mindset tips, but it means nothing when someone isn’t ready to accept it.
Find your purpose and stick with it. It’s perfectly normal to have doubts, but it’s not healthy to beat yourself up about it.
I am the biggest advocate for self-love and self-empowerment. I really do think the media and TV shows love hero stories. That’s not a bad thing, but I would like to encourage people to be their own heroes. When I feel particularly resentful towards myself, I try to keep these positive mindset tips in mind. After all, a helping hand is nice, but maybe not always guaranteed. If I don’t love myself, who will? If I don’t want myself to succeed, who will? If I don’t believe in my potential, who will?
I must admit, this is all easier said than done. Self-love is a long journey, but I hope you can use this information to take the first step in becoming your biggest advocate and reaching happiness.
Written by Jessica Lu
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